Hmmmmm...
Still figuring this blocker thing out, forgive me! Anyhoo, there is the porch, complete with concrete slab that I once painted, and is now unforgivingly peeling off! The plan? I wanted to paint the woodwork a crisp white, and paint the particle board a sky blue. That suggestion thanks to my interior design partner in crime Abby "Goat Feet" Smout, (a long, painful, and outrageously funny story) who advised if you paint an outdoor porch ceiling sky blue, wasps and hornets will not nest there!
So off I went to get high quality outdoor paint, and GOOD GOD, it is EXPENSIVE! $20 a gallon! Bollocks! So I HATE to trim paint, ask my brother, his fireplace still endures the wrath that is my unsteady hand! So my plan was to go crazy with the white, and then tape off the ceiling joists and saturate the recessed particleboard to "hold the particles" down! Genius!
Uhhhh.... NO!!
I unfortunately have since burned that picture in a ritualistic ceremony involving a chicken and eye of newt, but let's say, no amount of paint on this planet could hold those particles down! Watching dollars waste away on the particle board, I thought, "Wait a tick! How about I rip beadbord panels to nestle in between the joists and paint them blue after I cut them, and no taping would be required!! SUPER GENIUS!!
Off I went to the Acme store to get the boards! Now, this is no surprise to my fellow design students, but to others, measuring is an exact science, and no, you don't know how to do it right, there should be a class, no a SEMESTER on how to measure correctly! As you probably divulged from my grossly overdeveloped forshadowing, I measured just a hair off, resulting in my initial call to Pops, my hero and savior! Out he comes in a cape with the circular saw to the rescue!! Now as most of you already know, anything manmade is wrong. I don't care who you are, or what you use, it is ALWAYS slightly askew, and ALWAYS not in your favor! Why do I say this with such fervor? Whomever or WHATEVER initialed those ceiling joists, never met a level, measuring tape, or corrective glasses, sucks for me! Poor Pops had to cut each and every panel individually, and mind you there are 3 panels a row, with 12 rows! Yes my mathematically challenged friends, that is 36 panels! Enter Lia Guerra, my close friend, muse, culinary confidant, and cheerleader, always there to pick up a nail, and hand over a hammer! Mind you all these panels must be secured to the particle board, but you cant hammer them into the particalboard, or you will compromise the integrity of your ceiling, so I came up with purchasing metal brackets to screw into the joists and press the panels into the ceiling! All they need is paint! Ok, so 6 brackets a panel and 36 panels....lets see....216 BRACKETS!!! AAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!! I had to buy a gallon of paint just to shake and bake them in! Roll that beautiful bean footage!
So off I went to get high quality outdoor paint, and GOOD GOD, it is EXPENSIVE! $20 a gallon! Bollocks! So I HATE to trim paint, ask my brother, his fireplace still endures the wrath that is my unsteady hand! So my plan was to go crazy with the white, and then tape off the ceiling joists and saturate the recessed particleboard to "hold the particles" down! Genius!
Uhhhh.... NO!!
I unfortunately have since burned that picture in a ritualistic ceremony involving a chicken and eye of newt, but let's say, no amount of paint on this planet could hold those particles down! Watching dollars waste away on the particle board, I thought, "Wait a tick! How about I rip beadbord panels to nestle in between the joists and paint them blue after I cut them, and no taping would be required!! SUPER GENIUS!!
Off I went to the Acme store to get the boards! Now, this is no surprise to my fellow design students, but to others, measuring is an exact science, and no, you don't know how to do it right, there should be a class, no a SEMESTER on how to measure correctly! As you probably divulged from my grossly overdeveloped forshadowing, I measured just a hair off, resulting in my initial call to Pops, my hero and savior! Out he comes in a cape with the circular saw to the rescue!! Now as most of you already know, anything manmade is wrong. I don't care who you are, or what you use, it is ALWAYS slightly askew, and ALWAYS not in your favor! Why do I say this with such fervor? Whomever or WHATEVER initialed those ceiling joists, never met a level, measuring tape, or corrective glasses, sucks for me! Poor Pops had to cut each and every panel individually, and mind you there are 3 panels a row, with 12 rows! Yes my mathematically challenged friends, that is 36 panels! Enter Lia Guerra, my close friend, muse, culinary confidant, and cheerleader, always there to pick up a nail, and hand over a hammer! Mind you all these panels must be secured to the particle board, but you cant hammer them into the particalboard, or you will compromise the integrity of your ceiling, so I came up with purchasing metal brackets to screw into the joists and press the panels into the ceiling! All they need is paint! Ok, so 6 brackets a panel and 36 panels....lets see....216 BRACKETS!!! AAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!! I had to buy a gallon of paint just to shake and bake them in! Roll that beautiful bean footage!
posted by Gina Garcia | 9:43 PM
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